So Many Times, You Guys
by CottageCheese6535
Summary: In which doors are opened, creeps are exposed, and concerts go off without a hitch. (Based on the show)
1. Everyone Kicks Luther in the Balls

**A/N - Ayyyy, my first 5-1! We're making history here! **

**Anyway, I'm small and full of rage so I decided to write a series of fix-its for the last few episodes of the Umbrella Academy. I knocked out the most obvious one first, letting Vanya out of the cell, so I have no idea what the other four saves are going to be. Please review and tell me what to do so I can actually finish this.**

**Disclaimer - How I wish I owned it.**

_Let her go._

Luther sighed. "I can't do that. She hurt you."

Klaus glanced back at Vanya, inside her big metal cage. She was sobbing and pleading wordlessly behind the thick glass of the window, and didn't exactly look like a threat. If anything, Luther, with his big imposing form, seemed infinitely more dangerous.

Klaus looked back towards Allison. On the other hand, Vanya had _supposedly _slit Allison's throat, which was, like, a step up from choking someone, but Luther also locked Vanya in a big pointy box _and _threw Klaus across a room, so it kinda evened out. Plus, of all the places the big gorilla could have ended up and gotten high after the first chokey incident, it had to be a freakin' furry rave. Klaus died surrounded by furries. _Furries. _It was undignified, even for him.

On the other-other hand, Klaus was really tired of all this broody family drama. It was bad enough when it was only Diego and his weird police thing. He was like a discount Batman, except instead of being a billionaire he was poor and lived in a gym, and instead of Alfred the badass-butler, he had Grace the alright-android.

So Klaus cracked his knuckles, bounced up and down a couple of times, then fell over and hit his head on the door with a rather loud bang that got everyone's attention.

"Uh, is he okay?" said Diego, a little worried but mostly annoyed. Either Klaus had some brilliant plan that would simultaneously stop the end of the world and get Luther to shut up, or he was high again.

It was probably the second one, to be honest.

Diego looked up at Luther, who had stopped having his one-sided conversation with Allison and was now staring at the unconscious Klaus with a bewildered expression Diego was sure was reflected on his own face.

Allison tapped her note pad, getting their attention. _Check him, idiot._

Luther pointed at himself, as if to say _me? I'm the idiot?_

Allison nodded, as if to say _yes, idiot._

Diego facepalmed, as if to say _idiots._

Vanya looked thoroughly confused.

Luther hesitantly bent over Klaus, looking back at Allison before touching a massive hand to Klaus' shoulder. Which, of course, prompted Klaus to sit up and kick Luther in the balls. He bent over, wheezing and cursing. Klaus bounced up and practically flung himself at the door to Vanya's cell. "Psyche!" he yelled, throwing all of his weight onto the big wheely knob that opened the door.

Vanya just sort of stood there for a second, staring at Klaus, but then she snapped out of it and started banging on the glass again, yelling what looked like nonsense but probably sounded something like "Way to go, Klaus! Give him another kick for me!"

Diego decided to do as Vanya (might've) said, and kicked Luther in his Sensitive Parts once again, just as the poor guy was starting to recover, effectively disabling him for the next sixty seconds or so. Diego then joined his now favorite sibling at the door and helped him turn the wheel.

"Ow…" wheezed Luther, still on the ground.

Allison walked over and kicked him again, but in the side this time. He was tough, he could take it, but she wasn't that crude. Then, she joined Klaus and Diego (and Ben, but he didn't count) at the door. Finally, the wheel began to turn.

Vanya shouted something that looked a little like "Kick him again," but that might have been wishful thinking on Diego's part.

Then, the door creaked open, and Vanya fell into everyone's waiting arms, sobbing her eyes out. Allison quickly wrapped her in a big hug and started stroking her hair, making weird noises that might have been shushing. Klaus quickly went in for the group hug, resting his cheek on top of Vanya's head. He smiled up at Diego, then yanked him down into the pile of tears and poky elbows. Diego actually had to spit out a bit of Allison's hair. Yuck.

"I'm sorry," wailed Vanya, her voice muffled, face buried in Allison's shoulder. "I didn't mean to, I promise!"

Allison made a distressed whimpering noise, as if to say _do something idiots!_

Diego patted Vanya on the head in a somewhat comforting manner.

Suddenly, there was a flash of blue light, and Five appeared, standing over Luther (still on the ground clutching his privates) and holding a newspaper. Everyone looked up at him. "What the hell are you dimwits doing?" he said, trying to come across as demanding but ending up more confused than anything. "Why is everyone crying?"

"Oh, well, it's actually really simple," said Klaus, resting his arm on Diego's head. "You see, big brother here," he nodded at Luther. "Decided it was a great idea to lock up little Number Seven in a big pointy cage because he thinks she has powers. Naturally, I kicked him in the bits, which then encouraged Diego and Allison to reveal that they also dreamed of one day causing immense physical pain to the chimpanzee in the room."

Five looked down at Luther, who was once again beginning to recover. He struggled to his feet, using the wall as a crutch. "Five," he wheezed. "I didn't have a choice. Vanya's not-"

Five kicked him in the balls. Hard. With vigor. One might even say he enjoyed it.

He looked over Luther's whimpering form at the remaining siblings. He shrugged. "I didn't want to feel left out."

**A/N - Well. That turned out a little different than I planned, but I think I like this better. Everyone gets to kick Luther in his balls (except Ben, poor lil' ghostie), I get to laugh as I write it, and you get to leave a review because I'm desperate for praise! Everyone wins! (Except Luther, but who cares.)**


	2. Luther is a Good Brother (Its a Low Bar)

Vanya hesitated by the front doors for almost a minute before she finally went inside. When she did, it looked like no one was home. So, naturally, she did what every white woman on TV does.

"Hello?"

No one answered.

"Five? Klaus?"

Still no answer. Vanya crept further into the house, feeling more like a robber than anything. Who would be home? Pogo? Luther?

Wait, she definitely didn't want to talk to Luther. That had disaster written all over it in large, capital letters. If she really had killed-

Vanya gulped. If she had, Luther would hate her even more than he already did for it. So would all her other brothers. She shouldn't have come. This was so clearly a mistake. Vanya turned and started to leave, but stopped just short of the door. What else could she do besides stay? She couldn't just go home without knowing if Allison was, by some miracle, still alive. And even if she left, it was like Leonard (Harold?) said. They would figure out it was her, and they would come for her. Or even worse, they would come to invite her to the funeral, which would just be awkward.

"Vanya." said a rough, weary voice. Vanya turned back to the staircase. It was Luther.

"Luther," said Vanya, her voice trembling. "Is-" she paused. "Is Allison…"

"She survived.

Vanya felt close to collapsing. Allison was okay. She was alive.

Luther came down the staircase slowly, the light from the window behind him causing him to appear to Vanya as a silhouette, disguising his features and making it nearly impossible to determine if he was angry or not. But then he was at the bottom, and Vanya could see him clearly. Luther wasn't smiling, and his eyes were sad, but he wasn't angry either. He just looked sorry.

"What happened?" he said softly.

Vanya nearly started crying at the understanding tone of his voice. "We got in an argument," she tried to explain, wrapping her arms around herself. "And things got out of control. I didn't mean to hurt her, please, you have to believe me."

Luther nodded, looking down, seemingly deep in thought (a first). Finally, he looked back up at her. "I do."

Then Vanya really did start crying. "It was an accident," she sobbed. "I was angry. It just happened. I'm sorry."

Luther looked immensely uncomfortable. "Uh, it's okay," he said.

Vanya pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to muffle her sobs. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I don't know what's going on. Nothing makes sense." She looked up at Luther. "Could I see her? Please?"

"Uh, she's resting right now. Maybe later."

Vanya nodded. That was fair enough. "Could I stay-" she paused, wiping her eyes. "Is it okay if I wait here for a bit?"

Luther nodded. "Of course. This is your home." He paused for a moment. His brows were furrowed, and he looked like he was arguing with himself over something.

Apparently coming to an agreement with himself, Luther took a step towards Vanya, knelt down on one knee, and pulled her into a hug. Vanya stiffened, not expecting physical contact from _Luther _of all people, but then she completely broke down. She melted into Luther's hug, tears pouring in a steady stream from her eyes. Luther patted her back as she wept, staying unusually quiet for a man of his size and intelligence.

"I'm sorry!" wailed Vanya. "I'm sorry!"

Luther nodded, resting his chin on top of his little sister's head. "Yeah."

They sat there for a while, Luther holding Vanya as she wept. Soon, however, the hard wooden floor became too uncomfortable for both of them. Luther helped Vanya up, keeping his massive hand on her tiny shoulder as he walked her down to the infirmary.

This time Vanya did collapse. Right into Allison's arms.

**A/N - So far, every chapter seems to end with Vanya having a meltdown in the arms of one of her sibling's. We'll see where this goes.**

**Disclaimer I guess?**


	3. Vanya Has a Bad Memory

**A/N - First of all, this chapter was suggested by Roserayrose over on Ao3, so credit to them for the idea. Second of all, little to no Luther in this chapter, so, yay?**

"Oh, thank God," said Vanya, finally catching sight of Five. He was gazing dramatically out the window but turned to look at her when she entered his old bedroom. "I was worried sick about-"

"Vanya! Nice of you to join us!"

Vanya stopped in her tracks. "Klaus?"

"Yes!" said Klaus with a flourish, bowing low to the ground. "The one and only!"

Vanya blinked. She hadn't really spoken to Klaus in years, not since her book, and she felt woefully unprepared for this interaction, more so than she had felt seeing Allison, or Luther, or even Diego. Five was looking at Klaus like he wanted to stab a dull knitting needle through his throat, which made Vanya a little nervous, but she wouldn't mind if he did because then she wouldn't have to socialize as much.

"Sorry I left without saying goodbye," said Five, looking away from Klaus and aiming his murder-stare at Vanya instead, though admittedly a little less stabby.

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry," Vanya reassured Five, relieved that they seemed to be ignoring Klaus for the time being. "I was dismissive, and I guess I didn't know how to process what you were saying."

"What was he saying?" whispered Klaus to the empty space next to him. "Did I miss something, or are they talking about something else?"

"Something else, Klaus," said Five, his voice taking an even sharper edge than normal. "Don't interrupt. Vanya-"

"Then what ARE you talking about?" interrupted Klaus. "Care to clue us in?"

"Us?" questioned Vanya.

"Shut up Klaus," retorted Five. "I just need you to-" he cut himself off. Then he turned to Vanya and said "Will you come to a big office building with me and pretend to be my mom? I'll give you twenty bucks."

Vanya considered it. On the one hand, she would have to hang out with Klaus. On the other hand, she would get to go on an actual mission with her brothers. And on the third hand, twenty dollars. "Okay."

Five seemed surprised. "Really?"

"I don't have anything else to do today."

It was at this point that Klaus felt he needed to intervene. "Whoa whoa whoa. What about my twenty?"

It was Vanya's turn to be surprised. "He offered it to you first?"

"Yeah, he said he needed someone, and I quote, 'dumb enough to do it but smart enough to know how'." Klaus looked at the space next to him again. "That's actually really poetic. I should get that as my next tattoo."

Vanya wasn't sure if she should feel offended or not, so she settled for mildly annoyed. Five at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself. "Sorry, Vanya. You're not dumb," he glared at Klaus, who looked like he was starting to disassociate. "Unlike _some _people."

Klaus snapped back to attention. "Hey!"

"Let's just all go together. Klaus and I will pretend to be your mom and dad."

Five nodded. "That works."

"Alright, I'll do it!" said Klaus, jabbing his finger into the air. "But only on one condition." he took a dramatic pause, soaking in the annoyed and curious looks of Five and Vanya respectively. "I get to be the mom!"

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Vanya wasn't exactly sure what had been accomplished by Five's mission, but she knew that she'd thoroughly enjoyed it, even though it hadn't been going very well at first. Vanya had just sort of sat there while Five yelled at the doctor until Klaus decided he was going to spice things up a bit.

Of course, Klaus' idea of spicing things up was physical abuse, namely knocking over Vanya's chair (with her still in it, ouch) and punching Five in the face. That must have painted a lovely picture of their home life. Still, it did the trick and they got the doctor to look up the eye. Apparently, the eye hadn't been made yet, so that was a dead end. It was fun though.

Vanya had fun. It was a nice feeling, to be included in something her siblings did for once. Sure, it was only Klaus and Five, but it was still progress. It was really the other three she had to work on.

Unfortunately, as she realized upon seeing the note taped to her door, she had missed her four o'clock appointment with her new student. Damn.

Oh, well. She could just call and reschedule. Oddly enough, Vanya didn't feel nearly as stressed as she usually would in a situation such as the one she was in now. Maybe she was becoming more confident. Wishful thinking, probably, but it would be nice to not feel so terrible all the time.

Speaking of terrible, she really needed to take her meds. The last time she took them had been…

Wow. That morning? It had been nearly twelve hours since her last dose and she felt fine. Good, even.

Maybe she should...stop taking it? She didn't _feel _anxious or stressed out. She didn't even mind the bruises she got from when Klaus pushed her over.

Yeah…

No more meds for her.

**A/N - Yay Vanya! Sure, I'm the one who wrote this, but I can still be proud of character development! (Ps, I'm no longer taking chapter suggestions.)**

**Next chapter: Allison is an even better sister than usual. **


	4. Allison Has The Brain Cell Today

**A/N - So, I tried my hand at writing the single most intense scene of the whole show. I mean, seriously. Right from when Allison gets to the cabin to when Vanya is literally dragged away kicking and screaming… it was so awesome the first time I watched it. I legit thought Allison was gonna die. I was sorta just staring at the TV in horror the whole time.**

**But enough about me! On with the chapter!**

_I heard a rumor…_y_ou think you're just…ordinary._

"He made me an accomplice," whispered Allison to herself, staring down at her hands. After so many years of lies, finally, they knew the truth. How could she have forgotten? How could she have missed this glaring mistake, this untruth she had told herself over and over and over for so long? She did all of this to Vanya, told her the words that would make her feel unloved and _ordinary, _the worst thing you could be in the eyes of their father.

"You did this to me?"

Vanya's voice was so small and broken. There were tears in her eyes, unshed, but still there. Allison realized with a start that this was the greatest display of emotion she had ever seen in her sister ever since she could remember.

"I - I didn't realize-"

"You knew this whole time? That I had powers?"

Vanya's voice was stronger now, stronger and harder. There was a sharp edge to it, and Allison thought that she could feel Vanya's words digging into her skin, burrowing down to her heart where she knew it would hurt the most. Allison wondered if that was what it felt like when she spoke her words to people.

"No, no!" said Allison, reassuring Vanya. "I didn't understand until I came today, until I saw it!"

"So this is why you never wanted me around?"

_What?_

"You couldn't risk me threatening your place in the house!"

There was a wind blowing through the cabin now, much like when Allison had arrived. Except instead of the smooth, gentle waves of Vanya's music, this was fueled by anger and arguments, cold words spoken in sharp tones and the echoing splinter of sisterhood.

"You couldn't handle the fact that Dad might find _me _special!"

"You are special! With or without powers!"

She had to calm Vanya down. She remembered that her powers were tied to her emotions, that when she was angry things broke. She needed to stop Vanya before she broke something she couldn't fix.

"Don't!" roared Vanya, suddenly standing. "Don't say that!"

"Vanya!" pleaded Allison. "Vanya, please! You have to calm down!"

"No! You destroyed my life!"

"It's not like that!"

"This is all your fault!"

Vanya was practically spitting in her face at this point. She was heaving and gasping, her voice raspy and loud, eyes wild and hair blowing in the wind. Her stance was wide, and her hands were clenched into fists.

She looked insane.

"Vanya, it can all be different now!" said Allison, more aware now than ever that she needed to help her little sister (physical age be damned). "I know you hate me. I hate me too. I hate what I did to you, and I hate what I've done to myself."

The words Allison spoke poured out of her. Something had ruptured, and now everything she wished she had said came in a storm of feeling and emotion and _words. _Good words. The truth.

"Nothing I've ever done has been true. It's all been...fake. Wrong. I don't know."

Vanya's eyes were confused now. She looked very small. The wind died down a little.

"I did this to you, I know that Vanya...but I didn't mean to. I promise. Dad made me."

Vanya hardened. "He didn't _make _you do anything. You could have said no! You could have stopped him!"

The wind blew again.

"I-"

"It would have been so easy for you to stop him!"

"Vanya-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU _DO _ANYTHING?"

The wind stopped. It was as if time had frozen, it went silent so quickly. The ceiling light swung back and forth, casting odd shadows over Vanya's face. She was no longer heaving and gasping, she was calm and collected. Her eyes burned Allison, demanding the answer to a question Allison wasn't sure she had the answer to.

Why hadn't she just said no?

"Because…"

Vanya's eyes narrowed.

Allison tried again. "Because…"

But she couldn't keep going. She had no more words. So, instead, she inched closer to Vanya.

"That's what I thought," spat Vanya, oblivious to Allison's slow approach. "I'm not going with you. I'm-"

Allison slammed her fist into the side of her sister's head. Vanya dropped like a rock, unconscious. Messy, idiotic, and brutal, more Luther's style, but hopefully when Vanya woke up she would be a little less crazy and a little more…

Well, Allison wasn't sure what, exactly, but as long as it wasn't what Vanya had been doing before it would be fine.

There was a knock on the door. It opened, and Vanya's boyfriend walked through. He saw Allison standing over Vanya's unconscious body, and blinked at her, obviously confused. "Um…"

"No."

"Okay."


	5. Vanya Kicks Ass

**A/N - So. It's been a while. My bad. **

**I was recently reading through my old(ish) works, basking in the glory of my own accomplishments and waiting for inspiration to strike, when I came to this one. And although my skills have improved (hopefully) and my standards are higher (so high. It's agony), I found myself giggling at jokes I forgot I'd written and comments from all of you that made me smile bigger than I have in a while.**

**After many months of procrastination, it's finally time to return. And because I have no other ideas, I'm going to extend it beyond a 5-1. This story will no longer be **_**Five Times the Apocalypse was Prevented. **_**It will be **_**So Many Times, You Guys. It was so easy to Just Fucking Stop the Apocalypse.**_

**Unfortunately/fortunately, I can't come up with all the chapters on my own, so I'm putting it all up to you guys. Suggest a chapter, and I'll write it. Within reason (or maybe without), of course. **

**Thank you for everything. And please enjoy.**

_**Suggested by Ginny Bloom Potter.**_

Luther thunders up the stairs inside the theater four at a time, only slowing when it's clear that his siblings aren't going to be able to keep up. He can hear the orchestra echoing throughout the theater and his heart pounding in his chest. What if they were too late to stop it? What if everything had been for nothing?

Allison seemingly teleports in front of him and puts a hand on his chest. He stops immediately but processes the words on her notepad a little slower. "Wha-"

Allison stares into his eyes defiantly. _I need to go alone._

Luther sighs. They don't have time for this. "Allison, I can't let you do that, alright?" he says hurriedly. "She's beyond reasoning."

Allison scrunches up her face and shoves him in the chest. Luther stumbles back slightly, more with the shock of the blow rather than any strength on Allison's part.

Diego glares at them. "You hear the music?" he yells. "It's _started!"_

Luther swallows. He only has one shot at convincing Allison to follow his plan. "Do you honestly think she's gonna listen?" he tries. "After everything that's happened?"

Allison turns up her chin, glaring at him.

Okay. New strategy.

He nods. "Okay."

She looks at him strangely, glancing behind him to look at Klaus presumably not doing anything useful, then nods slightly and turns to run into the theater. Luther watches her climb the steps and then goes to stand next to Diego.

"You're using her as a distraction, aren't you?" he says, a hint of admiration in his voice.

"It's our best chance to incapacitate Vanya," Luther says proudly.

Klaus nods behind them. "Oh."

Luther sighs again. "She'll thank us later." He's not sure if he means Allison or Vanya, but seeing as Allison is probably going to be really pissed at him once they see her again, he decides he means her. Just to make himself feel better.

He and Diego make their way backstage after he orders Klaus to stay outside as lookout. It feels so...right, to be giving orders again. Especially when the orders are followed.

.

.

.

Vanya plays. Luther listens. Allison smiles.

And then he can't do it.

He can see Diego, on the other side of the stage, watching Vanya play with an awed look in his eyes. His mouth is hanging open slightly, and hands that usually rest on the hilts of knives are still at his sides. Luther tells himself that Vanya's music is evil, that it's making him and his brother weak, but he can't convince himself. Not when it's so beautiful.

Luther needs to stop her. But...he doesn't want to.

Not anymore.

So he sits where he stands and listens to his little sister play the violin.

He sinks into the music, and Diego and Allison do the same. Diego doesn't sit, but he leans against the wall, eyes transfixed on Vanya and her dancing fingers. Allison stands awkwardly in the aisle, ignoring the odd looks she's receiving from the audience and starts to cry when Vanya smiles at her. Vanya herself is beginning to return to herself. The white film over her vision is starting to fade into color and light.

All is peaceful, worries swept away in the serenity of Vanya's music. Outside, Klaus buys a burrito.

Then masked gunmen burst into the theater and everything goes to shit.

.

.

.

Vanya can't see.

Well, she _can _see, technically, but it's like she can't see anything real. Everything is white and shiny in her eyes, and the spotlights that shine on her and the orchestra are even more blinding than usual, so that her vision is consumed by a brilliantly glowing fog. She has no idea what's going on, only that her fingers are moving in familiar patterns and breathtaking music plays in her ears. Her hands seem to move without prompting, so she lets them dance across the strings of her violin without bothering to restrain them.

She's first chair, now. She'd almost forgotten. She gets the solo. She listens to herself play it with mild curiosity. She's good. She's very good.

She glances towards where she knows the audience to be. She remembers reserving five of the seats, but she can't remember for whom. She tries to frown, but finds that she can't. Her face is locked into one expression, and if she could see herself, Vanya would see that it is as close to nothing as a person could express.

Frowning inwardly, Vanya tries to stop playing. She can't. Her entire body has been stolen from her, and her hands continue to dance in beautiful patterns that she can't control.

Vanya thinks that if she could, she would start shaking, and her violin and her bow would clatter out of her hands, and she would stand up and back away from the orchestra and the conductor and maybe run backstage to hide somewhere while she figures out what's going on.

But, seeing as she can't do any of that, she decides she might as well figure it out right now.

The last thing she remembers is…her cell. Banging on the door. Begging her siblings to let her out, to save her. Every single one of them turning their backs on her and leaving.

Her eyes dart back over to the audience. The fog clears and she sees five empty seats.

Well. Screw them, then.

Vanya throws herself into her music. She follows her own lead, instead of fighting herself, and her music becomes powerful, beautiful, passionate. She is passionate.

Screw Helen, too.

Something in the audience draws Vanya's attention. A person, familiar and beautiful. There is a bandage over her neck, and she's smiling at her, pride in her eyes. Allison.

Allison is smiling at her. After everything, the cabin, the cell, the destruction, Allison came. And she's smiling at her.

The anger within Vanya evaporates and she smiles back. She doesn't know it, but behind her, in the back of the stage, her brothers smile too. Vanya plays on. The music fills her with joy, now that her family is there to hear it, and the fog is soon gone completely. Her eyes fade into brown, and her foot twitches. She hits a wrong note on her violin, and the conductor glares at her, but she corrects herself and continues the solo.

She has returned to herself.

Vanya's smile widens, and she closes her eyes. Her hair ruffles slightly in a sudden breeze, and she is happy.

_**BANG!**_

Vanya's bow screeches to a halt and her eyes fly open. Behind her, the orchestra follows suit. There is murmuring, and then screaming, as the audience begins to panic.

Vanya starts to panic too. She stands up quickly, knocking her chair back. She looks out into the audience, searching for Allison, but the crowd hides her from view. She can hear the blood rushing in her ears as the conductor calls for silence.

_**BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

Vanya stumbles back as she realizes what the noises are. "Allison!" she cries out. "Allison!"

Behind her, she hears familiar voices calling out her name. "Vanya!" Vanya looks, turning her back to the audience. The orchestra is rushing backstage like water over a cliff, but Luther is clearly visible over their heads, parting the crowd easily with his gargantuan frame. "Vanya, get away from there!"

Vanya shakes her head and backs away. She doesn't want to talk to Luther. She raises her violin and puts it to her chin, noting Luther's flinch as she does so.

"Vanya, wait!" he yells, pushing through the crowd towards her. Only a few people stand between her and Luther, so she has to act fast. She strikes a high note on her violin, and a wave of sound bursts from her bow and strikes Luther, knocking him back into the wall.

Vanya blinks. That's new.

"Put it down!" shouts Diego, emerging from behind a curtain. "Vanya, we need to help Allison!"

Vanya shakes her head again, this time in confusion. She blinks over and over again, and fog that she didn't realize was creeping across her eyes fades away. She lowers her violin and looks out into the audience.

The audience has fled by now and there's no one left in the theater, save for herself, her siblings, and the gunmen. Her brothers are safe on the stage, hiding in the wings, but Allison is trapped somewhere in the seats, with the men in the masks firing down at her from the box seats. But where is she? Vanya's eyes rake across the theater, watching where the gunmen aim, and she notices that their fire is split between Luther, Diego, and a single row of seats. But how can she take them out?

Before she can think, Klaus bursts into the theater, dressed more sensibly than she'd ever seen him, and—she notes somewhat absentmindedly, as she'd pretty much come to expect these kinds of things—he's holding half a burrito.

"GUYS THERE'S A SHIT-TON OF-"

A bullet whizzes past Klaus's head. He ducks and looks around wildly, and he's so lost and out-of-place and vulnerable that Vanya acts without thinking and _shrieks _out a random note on her violin in the general direction of the gunman that took the shot. The sound is horrible and loud and full of just enough power that it fills her completely, and she sends it like a bullet through the heart of the man that dared to try and harm her big brother.

Well, it hits the gunman in one of his knees and all he does is fall over, and Klaus catches some of the fringe of the attack and hits his head on a seat, but she's not perfect.

"Vanya!"

She risks a glance over her shoulder. It's Luther again, struggling to his feet with his hand pressed to the back of his head. "What?" she calls out irritably. She's a little busy right now. "I'm a little busy right now!"

Luther's mouth opens and closes a couple of times, and it's clear that he really hates what he's about to say. "Keep playing! Don't stop!" he manages to choke out.

Vanya frowns. "Screw you! You don't get to tell me what to do!"

A bullet whizzes past Vanya's ear and hits Luther in the shoulder. She jumps, and Luther yelps. Diego darts out from his hiding place, battered and bruised like he got beat up, and draws one of his knives. He throws it, and Vanya watches as it soars past her and into the throat of one of the gunmen.

Then Five pops into the theater, and the men turn their fire on him.

Her eyes harden. She puts her bow to the strings, lets the gunshots fill her ears, and she starts to play.

Instantly, she is blinded. Everything is white once again, and her hands are stolen from her. Bullets scream past her, always meant for someone else, so she grabs them, stops them in mid-air, freezes them in place. Then, she conducts them, drives them with her music, forces them to dance.

Dimly, she sees Allison, Klaus and Five scramble (and/or teleport) onto the stage during the confusion. She stops the bullets meant for them just before they hit, and once they are safely in the wings along with Luther and Diego, she brings the bullets to her and lets them join the dance. Her circle grows bigger, every shot adding to the destruction she is becoming capable of.

The gunshots stop as suddenly as they began. Her music falters for half a second, and it's enough to drop her onto one knee. She grits her teeth and keeps playing, . The men must have figured out what she was doing, decided not to give her any more ammo. Sure enough, she can see them creeping towards the stage, guns discarded in favor of knives.

She starts to panic. She's not sure if she has enough bullets to get all of them. This is taking everything she has. If she doesn't nail this, her siblings will be defenseless.

The gunmen continue forward, knives glinting in the light.

Knives…

"Diego!" she cries, and she's almost surprised that her voice doesn't echo or grow louder or something similarly powerful. It just sounds like her.

Diego appears next to her. He's holding up a hand, shielding himself from the wind. "What?" he yells, voice barely a whisper against the combined noise of her violin and bullets grinding against each other in mid-air.

"Give me your knives!"

"What?"

"I know you have way more than you need! Give them to me!"

He does, emptying his pockets and sleeves and various belts. The first few he drops clatter to the floor, and she can see him wince, but she catches the rest and draws them into the storm of bullets.

Slowly, steadily, her view is obscured by the metal. Gaps in the bullets are filled by Deigo's blades, and she pulls them tighter and tighter around her, and when she can see nothing but the blinding, brilliant, white glare reflected upon them, she draws her bow across the strings one last time. The final note.

Ready…

Diego sucks in a breath and stares at her, a white glow caressing his skin.

Aim…

He stumbles back, catching Allison and Klaus and Five by their sleeves, and she can see him yell but she can't hear the words. She looks over her shoulder at them, watches as Luther gathers them all into his arms with various degrees of compliancy, and their eyes meet.

Luther's mouth thins. He nods.

Vanya narrows her eyes. "Duck."

Fire.

The bullets explode out into the theater. Luther turns his back to her and shields their siblings with his bulk, but there is no need. She wasn't aiming for them.

Bodies drop all around her, some merely falling to their knees, and others tumbling down from above. The walls are full of holes, the curtains torn to shreds, the glass ceiling blown outward into the night. A few pieces fall, but the city sounds outside are enough for her to cushion their fall and keep them from using her as a pincushion. She exhales slowly, and lets her violin drop, hanging onto it as loosely as she can without letting it fall to the floor.

Someone breathes shakily behind her, and she freezes. Time to face the music. Pun most certainly intended.

"Vanya?" It's Five. Tiny, grumpy, murderous Five. He actually sounds concerned. "Are you okay?"

Is she?

She looks down. Her violin is white. So is her suit. When did _that _happen? _Why_ did that happen?

Her siblings are whispering behind her. Deciding what to do with her now that it's over, no doubt.

Everything is still white. Does she have control? She taps her fingers against her leg experimentally. Yup. Color begins to bleed back into the world, and she sighs in relief. She looks up at the shattered ceiling, and admires the view.

Then her knees buckle and she collapses onto the floor, violin slipping from her fingers. Hm. She's tired. _Really _tired. That's what happens when you use your superpowers to take down an entire army of masked nut jobs, she supposes.

She giggles quietly to herself. _Superpowers. _

Someone slaps her face, so she opens her eyes. It's Five again, and he looks uncharacteristically worried. Diego is behind him, and she thinks Allison might be cradling her head in her lap, and Klaus is finishing his burrito, and...is that Ben? And even Luther is there, hovering awkwardly in the background, hand pressed to the wound in his shoulder.

She frowns and lifts her head slightly to look at him, ignoring Allison's shushing protests. He winces, and looks away. She holds him in her gaze nonetheless, and eventually, he looks back.

She raises her eyebrows, and his shoulders slump. _I'm sorry, _he mouths. And he looks it, too.

She tries to stay mad. She really tries. But, despite everything, a small smile starts to tug at the corner of her mouth.

Luther looks surprised. He has a right to be, she supposes. It's not every day she smiles at one of them. But then, after a moment, a small smile surprises him too.

She closes her eyes and lets her head fall back onto Allison's knees. "Douchbag," she mutters tiredly, and promptly passes out.

**A/N - Aaaaaaand cut!**

**Remember, if you have an idea for a chapter, leave a review. No matter how ridiculous it is, I'll probably write it. Stay safe out there, and I might see you soon!**


	6. So Brothers are Good for Something

**A/N - I recently realized that one of the chapter titles in this work was, regrettably, inaccurate. Therefore, I have decided to remedy the situation with this chapter, suggested by KHogan22.**

Vanya is having the strangest dream about a gorilla wearing a monocle squeezing the air out of a balloon when she wakes up to complete silence and aching ribs. Normally, this would be a cause for alarm, but, having learned the value of staying extremely still in order to go unnoticed, she decides to lay there for a brief moment and figure things out.

She immediately notices that whatever she is laying on is not soft. One might consider it quite firm. Therefore, the floor.

She grimaces. At least she didn't say that out loud. Speaking of loud, it is not. It is very quiet. Therefore, she is alone. Or she isn't alone, and everyone is being quiet. So she's either alone, or she's with people, which really doesn't tell her anything. She'll probably have to look around to figure out that one.

Also, it's cold. So...basement? That's probably not a good sign. Basements, in her experience (TV), are never a good thing to wake up in. Or maybe the AC is just on really high, or someone left a window open. But she can't hear open-window-things, like birds or cars. So AC, or basement. Or a third reason she can't think of. Yet another thing she'd actually have to open her eyes for.

Floor. Quiet. Cold. Hm. Even without counting possibly cracked ribs, this doesn't bode well. She may as well "wake up" for real now, she supposes.

Slowly, carefully, she cracks her eyes open and waits for them to adjust. When the ceiling remains black and pointy, something in her chest clenches. _Shit._

She sits up, hardly noticing the increasingly rapid rising and falling of her chest or the heavy pounding of her heart. Three figures stare solemnly at her through a thick glass window. _Shit shit shit shit shit not good not good not good-_

She springs to her feet and throws herself at the window, arm raised to pound at the glass before she even reaches it. "Guys!" she wheezes. "Guys! Let me out! Let me out!" She punctuates each word with a slam against the glass. Her throat hurts. Her ribs ache. Her fists are already starting to bruise from banging them on the glass. All in all, not a good place to be.

Luther, Klaus, and Diego are all saying something, talking amongst themselves, but she can't hear them. She can't hear anything but herself and her stupid, weak fists against the unyielding glass.

Klaus raises his arms and gestures at her and even takes a step forward but Luther (he fucking _choked her unconscious _what the _fuck) _stops him before he can reach the door. "I'm sorry!" she tries to scream, for lack of potentially less effective things to say. Luther apparently squeezed her a little too hard and her voice is scratchy and it hurts to speak, but it's the thought that counts. "I'm sorry!" she tries again, but they've started to argue with each other and they aren't listening and she's _trapped in here again not again shit shit shit-_

Luther is blocking Klaus and Diego from view with his enormous frame, and no one is watching her, so she gives banging on the glass a break and rests her forehead on the cool surface instead. She squeezes her eyes shut against the tears she feels burning behind her eyes, but a few slip out anyway. "Fuck," she whispers, and her scratchy throat seems to thank her for not screaming it. She thinks of Luther crushing her in a shitty excuse of a hug and it makes her angry. "Fuck!" she yells, and it hurts, and she gets angrier.

Fucking Luther. This shitty, dysfunctional, uncaring, _fucking family. _If she could even call it that. "FUCK!" she yells again, and she slams her fist onto the glass with a sound like a drumbeat.

Drumbeat.

She opens her eyes. Klaus is watching her from behind Luther's elbow, completely ignoring the screaming match Diego and Luther seem to be having. He perks up when he sees her watching him and mouths something.

She frowns. "What?"

He mouths it again, and somehow neither Luther nor Diego notices. _Aisle tall him._

Her frown deepens. What?

Then it clicks. _I'll stall him._

Drumbeat. She nods ever so slightly and flexes her fingers. Her fists are scraped and throbbing at this point, and she's not looking forward to hitting the glass again, but, all things considered, it's a small price to pay for freedom.

She raises her hand, heart pounding in her ears, brings it down hard against the window, and all but doubles over in pain when it connects. _Shit. _This was going to be harder than she thought.

Luther starts to turn around, and she panics and hits the glass again, then again and again and again, and oddly enough she can hardly feel the impact. Adrenaline is a hell of a painkiller. But, as it turns out, whatever Klaus was on today was stronger because as soon as Luther turns he launches himself at the stupid chimpanzee and hangs onto his back like a fucking koala.

Luther just sort of stands there, and she gets to stare him in the eye and enjoy the look of confused anger he wears constantly for a hot second until Klaus, in a characteristically chaotic move, starts to hit him over the head over and over again with nothing but his bare hands and pure joy.

Luther, predictably, starts flailing wildly in an attempt to throw him off.

She and Diego share a look. She narrows her eyes. "Stall him," she growls.

Diego has never looked happier than when he's punching Luther in the face, she reflects happily, and wishes she could hear whatever profanities her brothers are hurtling at each other. Then she remembers she's supposed to be getting out, so she closes her eyes and focuses.

As much as she doesn't want to, she remembers Leonard and his admittedly helpful lessons. _Listen. What do you hear?_

Nothing. That's kind of the point. But she can make her own noise. Drumbeats.

She tries to hit the glass, but instinctively softens the blow, not exactly looking forward to further damaging her fists. She clenches her teeth and tries again, but it's too soft to make noise and just hard enough to hurt and she can't do it and she's stupid and weak and _ordinary. _

Her heart pounds in her ears and her palms flatten against the glass. Then it skips a beat, and she sucks in a breath.

_Drumbeat. _

A cold wind slices past her cheek, and she shivers. She feels her hair lift off her shoulders and shift in the sudden breeze, and she nearly opens her eyes with the shock of it but at the last second remembers to focus. She can't lose it now.

The sound of her own heart slowly fills her, like water pooling in drowning lungs. The wind picks up and it tears at her clothes, whips her hair around and smacks her in the face, burns her nose with its coldness.

Something clicks, and she opens her eyes. Klaus is still clinging to Luther, but the stronger man has a good grip on the collar of Klaus' vest. Diego leaps for Luther's arm and grabs on tight, but he can't stop him from peeling Klaus off his back and tossing him like a sack of potatoes across the room. Diego hits Luther square in the nose in retaliation, but he too is thrown.

Vanya takes a step back from the glass, then another, and then another, until she stands in the center of the room. Klaus peeks at her from under Luther's boot, and Diego grins even though his nose is bleeding, and Luther still looks confused and angry and even a little sad and scared now that she really looks and then the door at the end of the hall opens and _Allison _steps through but Vanya can no longer contain the beating of her heart and everything is white and blinding then she has to _let go. _

Heartbeat.

With nowhere else to go, her power pushes through her cell and into the hall. Consequently, the entire front wall sports a very large dent when it crashes down onto the floor.

She hops over the threshold as quickly as she can without tripping and ruining the whole _I'm a badass _effect and then just...stands there.

It's so quiet, she wonders if the whole basement is soundproof somehow, but that illusion is shattered when Klaus cheers, shoves Luther's boot and the attached shell shocked gorilla-man off of his chest and wraps her in a sudden and frankly PTSD-inducing hug, but she shoves down the urge to rip herself away and hugs him back.

"Holy shit," Diego breathes, and he slumps against the wall. "That was _insane." _

Vanya is inclined to agree.

Klaus pulls back and examines her at arm's length. Vanya doesn't bother trying to stop him. He looks her up and down, then nods. "Mhm," he hums. "That settles it."

Vanya blinks, and Klaus's shirt is suddenly much more colorful. "What?" she manages to wheeze, then frowns. Stupid Luther and his stupid throat squeezing bear hugs.

Klaus' face twitches when she speaks, but it's so fast she isn't sure if she imagines it. "What do you mean, 'what?'" he says, false outrage tingeing his voice. He slings his arm around her shoulder and gestures vaguely in Diego's general direction. "We're going to have to get you a mask! And a cool, badass vigilante name, of course. What do they call you again, brother dear? Knife Man? Stabby Boy?"

Diego tries and fails to scowl. "It's the Kraken, and you know that."

"I know it makes less sense than Stabby Boy is what I know."

"Dick."

"Where?"

Allison rolls her eyes, and Vanya jumps. She'd almost forgotten she was there, and apparently Allison feels the same because her eyes widen and she makes to cross the room to, no doubt, punch her in the shoulder and give her a hug, but of course _Allison _is what gets Luther to snap out of his coma.

Like the absolute moron he is, he holds out an arm and stops Allison in her tracks. "Stay back," he mutters, and Vanya watches Diego pull a knife from his belt with something like uncertainty.

Allison tries to push past him, but Luther continues to hold her back, and Vanya is just so _done _at this point that she decides to screw it. She shoves Klaus' arm off her shoulders and marches forwards until she has to crane her neck in order to look Luther in the eye.

He peers down at her, and it's so much like it was earlier in the house that she wants to hide and let her siblings take care of everything, but that worked out so well last time, so she stands her ground and meets his frightened glare.

Then she kicks him hard where it hurts, and watches with satisfaction as he crumples to his knees.

**A/N - You're welcome. **


	7. The Gang Commits Metaphorical Patricide

**A/N - The idea for this chapter comes from the twisted mind of bookygurl on Ao3. This is a rare case of a chapter that doesn't solve the apocalypse, but I'm allowing it anyway because I don't really care. As I said, I will write anything. **

**Also, the majority of this chapter was written in a haze at three in the morning on my phone, and I don't have a beta reader, and I'm just sleep-deprived enough to post this without really thinking about it too much, so apologies in advance.**

There is a very bright, very blue, very tingly flash of light, and then Klaus falls on his ass, and Ben falls on top of him. Which would be amazing under usual circumstances, Ben being dead for years and all, but there's something digging into his back that feels suspiciously like a fork and Ben is way heavier than he looks for such a skinny dude. So he's kind of over it. "Get off, Ben!" he groans and does his best to shove him off.

Ben grunts. "Sorry! Sorry...I...um…"

Ben wiggles off him, and Klaus wiggles off the fork, and then he looks around and wonders why he didn't question the fact that he was laying on top of a fork when he notices that he and all of his siblings are sprawled across a very familiar dining room table in varying degrees of unconsciousness (Vanya being totally out, Five being mostly out, and everyone else being mostly awake). He figures it's just one of those things and moves on.

"Uh, you guys are seeing this too...right?" Klaus says. Except Klaus doesn't say. Someone else that sounds like Klaus says.

A very familiar, very young someone.

Klaus looks around the table in a way he might describe as panicked, but he can't be bothered to describe himself so he just looks. Sitting around the table, with pudgy, twelve-year-old faces, are his siblings.

And there, at the head of the table, is Sir Reggie, in all his living-dead glory.

Klaus (real Klaus) stares at his dad, and his dad stares back at him, his monocle being held in his face by what can only be rage and sheer force of will.

"Guys?" Fake Klaus says again, and when no one answers him he peers down at his lap. "Fuck, I really gotta measure these doses better."

Real Klaus manages to tear his eyes away from his dad's furiously confused face and scowls at Fake Klaus. "Don't do drugs," he says, ignoring his Real Conscious Sibling's gasps and Ben's proud smile. "They suck."

He has like, a second to be proud of himself before all hell breaks loose.

Of course, it's Luther (both of them) that gets up first, Real Luther unceremoniously dumping Real Vanya into Real Allison's lap so he can better block Fake Luther's wild swing at his balls. It's around this point that Klaus notices that all of his Real siblings are also twelve years old again, and also that Luther seems to get hit in the balls a lot. Although, that might just be because he's standing on a table and his highly punchable face is out of reach.

Real Allison, meanwhile, seems to be occupied with making sure Real Vanya doesn't get impaled on a fork, and Fake Allison is starting to stand up too, presumably to launch herself in the middle of the fight the Luthers are having.

Fake Vanya is just sitting there with a whiter face than usual, which is understandable, Fake Ben is holding his stomach, which is concerning, Fake Five is staring at Mostly Passed Out Five (who actually just became Passed Out Five), Fake Klaus is staring at Real Klaus, and the word Fake is starting to lose all meaning in his brain.

The two Diegos, at least, seem to be having fun watching Luther essentially beat himself up.

Of course, then Reggie has to ruin it for everyone.

"Number One!" he says shortly, and stands up forcefully from the table. The two Luthers immediately stop, but Klaus is happy to see that the Luther he's pretty sure is his takes longer to meet their father's eyes. "What is the meaning of this? What are these...anomalies?"

Klaus narrows his eyes. "Rude." He pauses and thinks about it for a second. "But technically accurate, I guess." Then he spots a ghost in the corner and remembers why drugs don't suck sometimes. "Ah, fuck. Klaus, my buddy my pal my brother o' mine? You mind giving me a drag?"

Ben smacks him in the shoulder. "Dude. Time and place."

Klaus raises an eyebrow. "What time? If you haven't noticed, this isn't ours."

"Jesus Christ, Klaus," says Real Allison, still cradling Vanya's head in her lap. She opens her mouth, presumably to keep chewing him out, but then it just sort of stays open. Her eyes widen. "Fuck, I can talk again."

Reggie slams his hand on the table. All fourteen of them (the ones who're conscious, anyway) jump. "Explain yourselves this instant!"

"Iheardarumoryoufellasleep!" Real Allison says in a single breath. Reggie slumps forward onto the table, and, as Klaus watches excitedly, he slowly slides off and into the floor.

Fake Five, who had been standing next to the old man, stares at Allison. "Okay," he says. "I'm only going to ask this once. What-"

"Ugh, get over yourself," Klaus groans, and slides off the table. "Budge up," he tells a bewildered Fake Vanya. She scoots away, and Klaus squeezes past her, carefully avoiding eye contact with the bloody specter in the corner. "You guys figure out all this Back to the Future shit. I'm gonna take a page out of Five's book and get wasted."

The Luthers start sputtering in disagreement almost simultaneously. They look at each other, and then the one Klaus thinks is Real Luther points at their dad. "We can just leave him there. We have to do something!"

Klaus gives him an odd look. "I never said you couldn't."

"But-"

"Brother dear, kindly stick a sock in it and let me go get drunk."

Real Ben makes a face, and then Fake Klaus springs up out of his seat, the smell of weed clinging to him like the Horror clings to bad guys. (Ooh, metaphor, nice. Simile?) "Count me in. I don't know what the hell is going on-" he points to Real Klaus, "-but this guy knows what's up."

Real Klaus grins. "Fuck yeah."

Fake Five pops up onto the table then, and pokes Real Five in the face. He doesn't even twitch, probably too conked out to feel it. "...huh. So does this mean I figured out time travel then?"

"What part of 'Back to the Future shit' don't you understand?"

"Guys, seriously, we can't just leave him there-" Real Luther cuts in.

"Can we back up for a minute, who are you guys-" Fake Luther says.

"Can someone please help me get Vanya off this fucking table-"

"What year are you guys-"

"Why is Vanya all white and-"

"Is Klaus sober-"

"Oh, hey Ben. You're alive now. Cool."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Diego, did you just now-"

Klaus starts backing away from the increasingly chaotic dinner table. He's seen enough time travel movies to know that this whole situation probably won't end well, so he knows he's gotta get wasted while he still can, before they dissolve into nothing or fuse with their other selves or some shit like that. Either way, he's not sticking around for it.

He tiptoes away, into what he's privately dubbed the "Argue About Living" room, and pours himself a glass of something he doesn't immediately recognize, but will probably get him super drunk.

A plate smashes in the dining room. He sighs and shakes his head in the most long-suffering manner a twenty-something-year-old manchild stuffed into a twelve-year-old body can manage. He figures Allison can fix all this pretty easily. She clearly has the conviction, considering the unconscious body of their dead father on the floor. Maybe she'll send him on a never-ending river cruise. Or lock him in the basement. Or just cut their losses and erase his memory.

Hm. That might actually be pretty funny. The tasteful image of a homeless Reggie using a soda bottle cap as a monocle pops into his head, and he giggles. Oh, the sheer possibilities.

He raises the glass to the ceiling and taps the tags still hanging around his neck. "To the Academy, and all the even littler shits we've become."

A second plate smashes, followed by...laughter. Luther's laughter.

Klaus lowers his glass slowly and stares down at it. Then he looks back up at the door.

He scowls. "Screw this," he mutters, and dumps the drink out on the floor. It splashes on his shoes, which is annoying, but also...fun?

Several more crashes come from the dining room then, so Klaus decides to ignore the alcohol on his shoes for the time being and investigate. He kicks off his shoes, slides over to the door, and-

All six of his siblings are absolutely trashing the place.

Luther is flinging plates at the walls, with absolute glee plastered all over his face. Diego is sending cutlery flying through the air in some kind of mad dance around the room, grinning wildly. Allison seems content to watch, staring almost enviously at Luther and Diego as they destroy the room. Five is popping in and out of reality seemingly at random, tearing down paintings and absolutely shrieking with laughter. Ben is subdued, as Ben tends to be, but even he seems to be getting a kick out of watching Five. Even Vanya is getting in on it, carefully picking up a glass of juice, and, as Klaus watches, she lets it slip from her fingers and crash to the floor.

She smiles widely.

It's only when Klaus sees himself, bouncing around the room hooting and hollering like a madman, that he realizes these aren't his siblings. They're the Fake ones. The…the new ones. The really Real ones.

Klaus manages to catch his own eye. He beckons New Klaus to the doorway he's still leaning against, and the blissfully free preteen practically skips over. "I still don't know what's going on," New Klaus says breathlessly. "But thank you. Thank you so much."

Klaus smiles. Then New Klaus's words catch up to him. "What?"

New Klaus' smile widens, if that's even possible. "Allison. Your Allison, I mean. She got rid of him. She fucking got rid of him."

Klaus looks, and, sure enough, Ol' Reggie is gone. And, now that he's looking, so are his siblings.

A horrible thought occurs to him just as he starts to fade away. "Klaus!" he shouts, and grips his younger self's shoulders with all of his might. "Klaus! Did she erase his memory, Klaus! KLAUS! DID SHE ERASE HIS FUCKING MEMO-"

Bottle-Cap-Reggie floats in his mind's eye for one, blissful moment, and then Klaus is gone.

**A/N - I don't know when I started using swears every third word, but I feel fucking free. **


	8. Vanya Continues to Have a Bad Memory

**A/N - In an unprecedented turn of events (quarantine boredom, mostly) I've written a part 2 to a previous chapter that should be obvious by the title of **_**this **_**chapter. Yay. **

**Please continue to leave suggestions. I thrive on them. This particular chapter was suggested by Roserayrose on Ao3.**

**P.S. Holy FUCK season 2! I was like halfway through writing this when it came out and I binged the entire thing in a day. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas relating to preventing Certain Things in season 2, please let me know in the comments! I need to write some sweet sweet season 2 content before I go completely insane.**

Vanya's knee bounced like it was trying to launch itself into space as she made a truly monumental effort to pay attention to her sibling's ongoing argument about...something. She hugged herself, tried her best to ignore the buzzing in the back of her head that demanded she take another pill, and swallowed the nausea rising in her throat. It was very possible that quitting her meds cold turkey hadn't been the best idea. She really should have stayed at home, but her pills were still there, and someone had called a family meeting anyway, which made for a good excuse to get away. She couldn't focus enough to remember who it had been that called the meeting, or even what it was about, but everyone was talking _very _loud and it was starting to get on her nerves.

A shiver ran down her spine, and she tightened the hold she had on herself. She sucked in a shaky breath and let it out through chattering teeth, but it did little to relieve her of the chills snaking their way through her bones. She was pretty sure she was sweating, which made no sense because the living room was absolutely _freezing, _and her feet felt like little needles were stabbing them over and over again, almost as if they had fallen asleep.

Someone gestured wildly. Vanya was pretty sure it was Diego, considering the frankly excessive amount of black leather they were wearing, but her eyes seemed to be filling with water so it was hard to tell.

She wasn't crying. Her eyes were just being rude and inconsiderate.

She wiped the tears away anyway.

Someone big looked down at her. Luther, her mind helpfully supplied. That's Luther. He's saying something to you right now, you idiot. Get out of your head and pay attention. Everyone but you is standing up, and they all think you're a weak little ordinary weirdo for sitting down. You're just ordinary. Ordinary. Ordinary-

"...anya? Vanya!"

Vanya blinked, and the watery-and-for-some-reason-white film over her eyes cleared. Luther was staring down at her, something like concern but mostly like annoyance settling in his features.

Vanya's eyes darted around the room. Everyone was there. Even Klaus, in the corner, talking quietly and then shushing himself. Diego stood to the side, alternating between staring daggers at Luther and staring knives at Vanya, Allison was crossing her arms and probably doing her best to keep her eyes from rolling like a wronged man in his grave, and Five was...noticeably absent. Oh. Everyone wasn't there after all.

It was raining outside. Had it been raining before? She didn't remember it raining on the way to the Academy, but then again, she didn't really remember how she'd gotten there in the first place. A taxi? She didn't feel up to walking, so probably.

She wondered where Five was. If someone had called a family meeting-Luther, probably-then shouldn't he be there? And he was still convinced that the world was ending...he might do something rash and no one would know where he was if he got into trouble-

Someone was talking again. Angry. Diego. She did her best to tune in.

"...not even paying attention! She shouldn't get a vote anyway, not after what she did."

Someone else. Soft. Either Klaus or Allison, depending on Klaus' mood. She should probably pay attention to the words her sibling (whoever it may be) was actually saying, but she also probably should have just stayed home, and she did such a good job at that, so.

She listened anyway, because comprehension of unfamiliar situations was important, according to a certain old man probably rolling in his metaphorical grave.

"...she sick?"

Damn. She must have missed most of that one. She managed to hear all of the next sentence, at least.

"Vanya? What's wrong?"

Vanya looked up. She hadn't realized she was looking down in the first place, but whatever. Allison was hovering above her, Luther was hovering above Allison, and Diego looked like he wanted to stab all three of them. Klaus was still talking to himself in the corner.

Allison's words caught up with her. Vanya opened her mouth, intending to say something along the lines of, "I went off my meds on a whim and now I've started to lose feeling in my entire body, please get me more drugs before I collapse in on myself like a dying star," but instead all she said was, "What?"

Allison frowned. "I asked what's wrong," she said, and in an uncharacteristically motherly move that was probably caused by the recent birth of her daughter, she put her hand on Vanya's forehead. "Are you sick? Your skin feels really cold."

Diego scoffed. "Isn't that good?"

"Not when it's this cold," Allison retorted, voice sharp. "Vanya, seriously, what's wrong?"

Vanya worked her jaw up and down, silently begged for something at least a little coherent to come out, and said, in a wilted, strangled voice, "I wanted to stop taking my pills."

She saw Klaus perk up out of the corner of her eye. In the more central part of her eye, she saw Allison's eyes widen. "Oh," she said. "That's...good for you?"

Luther stood up straighter. "So what, you're in withdrawal? Didn't Dad put you on those for a reason?"

Vanya frowned. "I-" Another shiver ran down her spine, and she shuddered in discomfort. "I realized I hadn't had one in over twelve hours the other day, and-" she paused to pull in a shaky breath, "-and I felt good, so I decided to stop."

Allison's frown suddenly seemed significantly more condescending. "Vanya, you can't just quit medication like that. It's important to…"

Vanya, through no conscious decision on her part, stopped listening to Allison and started watching Klaus. He met her eyes halfway, and she was surprised to see quite a bit of pain in them. Then she remembered, _oh yeah, Klaus is addicted to drugs and he frequently gets stuck in rehab where drugs aren't allowed, _and he probably had a much larger understanding of what she felt like than anyone else in their living room.

_Please come over here and save me from these lunatics, _she tried to say, but all she managed to do was open her mouth.

Klaus understood anyway. He rolled his eyes at the corner, muttered something to himself that sounded like, "Fine. Fine!" and sauntered on over to where Allison was presumably still chewing out Vanya for daring to make her own decisions. He threw his arm over Allison's shoulder, said something Vanya didn't quite catch but was probably extremely chaotic in nature, and Allison took a step back, effectively removing herself from the range Vanya could pay attention to without making her head pound like a drum. Klaus took her place. He crouched down, patted her head, and did something weird with his face that was halfway between a reassuring smile and a grimace. "You feeling alright there, Vanny?"

Diego moved his head in a way that implied he was rolling his eyes, but everything past Klaus's face was sort of blurry and difficult to focus on. "This is not a relevant issue! This is about mom, not Vanya."

Mom? Wow, Vanya really was out of it. 'Wha's wrong with mom?" she mumbled in Klaus's general direction.

Klaus opened his mouth, presumably to answer her question, but Diego scoffed and spoke over him. "Nothing is wrong with her. That's what I'm trying to _tell _you…"

Vanya, through an extremely conscious decision on her part, stopped listening to Diego and started listening to Klaus. He blinked when he saw her watching him, then smiled. "So, you went off your pills, huh? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Diego's voice was getting louder. Allison and Luther turned around to yell at him. Vanya thought that they were probably done paying attention to her and Klaus. She shrugged noncommittally when she registered Klaus's question. "It felt better yesterday," she said quietly. "But I felt sick this morning."

"What does sick mean? Like you're cold, or you're hurting all over?"

Vanya did her best to nod. "I wish I hadn't stopped taking them."

Klaus frowned. "That's the withdrawal talking," he shifted so that he was sitting next to her on the sofa. "Why did you stop taking them in the first place?"

Vanya struggled to remember. Her brain felt like it was full of something sticky, and it made it hard to think. "I...I came home from the...the eye thing?"

"The prosthetics lab where you and me acted perfectly and Five didn't even pay us for it?"

"Yeah," Vanya said, and cracked a smile. She wanted to laugh, but she didn't feel like she had the energy. "I took one before I left to find Five, but I sort of...forgot to take another one. And I…" She trailed off.

"You what?" Klaus nudged her with his elbow.

"I felt...happy," Vanya mumbled, and she felt her face grow warm. "During the mission. I never got to-I never felt-"

Klaus tilted his head back and looked at something behind the couch. Vanya looked too, but nothing was there. Klaus rolled his eyes (there was a lot of that going around today) and said, "Thanks for the input, asshole."

Vanya blinked. "Who are you talking to?"

Klaus hesitated. His eyes darted over to the spot he was watching and then back to her, and he tilted his head like he was listening to something. "Okay," he finally said. "Don't freak out or anything, but you know how my power is essentially ripped off of the kid from that one movie by the guy who's name I can never pronounce?"

"Shay...mah-lan? May-lan?"

Klaus snapped his fingers. "That's the bitch. Anyway, I summoned Ben like...the day of his funeral-" Vanya's stomach lurched, "-and he just stuck around like the clingy asshole he is, and now he won't stop giving me advice on how to talk to you. You good?"

Considering that all of the blood in her face had just drained away, Vanya would say that no, she wasn't good, but her voice didn't seem to want to work right now so she shook her head instead.

Klaus winced. "Yeah, that's what Ben thought. Sorry."

"It's fine," Vanya squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again. "It's fine. Um. What's he saying?"

Klaus tilted his head. "He says hi."

A very distracting lump began to form in Vanya's throat.

"Oh, come on, don't get all shy _now!" _Klaus whined. "I swear, Vanny, he's usually much more talkative than this. I think he's got stage fright."

Vanya swallowed. "Where is he?"

Klaus looked at her, eyes wide. "He's, ah, actually right there." He pointed towards a spot by the couch, right in front of her.

Vanya fixed her eyes on where she thought Ben's might be, prayed that Klaus wasn't messing with her, vowed to kick him in the dick if he was, and said, "Hi, Ben."

Klaus smiled broadly. "Aw, you made him cry. Come on buddy, pull yourself together! We're supposed to be helping Vanya feel better, not...whatever this is." He patted Vanya on the head again and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Now, Ben here says we should get you in bed and maybe have mom make some soup. How does that sound?"

Vanya eyed the spot Ben was supposed to be in. "Klaus, I swear, if this is some fucked up coping mechanism of yours I _will _hit you."

Klaus stared at her, and then huffed out a laugh. "Wow," he chuckled, and hauled her onto her feet. Vanya swayed a little, but Klaus was being really nice today so he let her lean on him. "If those pills were keeping all _that _locked up inside you its probably a good thing you're off of them. And also no, he's really here. He actually tried to give you a hug earlier. It doesn't feel like anything to living people, at least I don't think so, but it makes him feel better, and…"

Klaus rambled on as he led Vanya out of the living room. Luther, Diego, and Allison were still in the middle of their debate about mom - which she'd never actually gotten an answer about, come to think of it - but thankfully they were so into it that they didn't even notice them leaving. It probably helped that she and Klaus were the least likely to be missed out of all of them. Not to be mean to Klaus, but the evidence proved the theory; no one followed them.

They passed mom on the way out. Her eyes were unfocused, but she perked up when she saw them. "Oh, hello!" she said pleasantly. "Does anyone want cookies?"

Klaus unwrapped one of his arms from around Vanya and patted mom on the shoulder. "Thanks, mother dear, that'd be great. Could we get some soup for Vanya too?"

"I'd be happy to make some!" mom said, and she leaned down to brush some of Vanya's hair out of her eyes. "I'll bring it up to your room in a minute." She straightened up, patted Klaus's cheek, and glided away in the opposite direction of the kitchen. Vanya could hear her humming something to herself as she went.

Vanya felt Klaus shrug. "She'll find her way there eventually. Come on, let's go."

They were halfway to the stairs when the gunshots started.

**A/N - This sort of ran away from me. I'm thinking of maybe sticking all of the "Vanya Can't Remember Shit" chapters into a separate fic (because there is definitely gonna be a part three) if that's something you guys are interested in. Also, I figured it's probably time to get a beta reader, so...I dunno. If you know a guy, let me know. **

**As always, leave a suggestion in the comments for a future chapter (season 1 AND 2) for a chance to be included in the fic. Have a nice day, and wear a fucking mask when you go outside.**


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